Far be it from me to wax romantic lyric on anything other than a pair of new shoes, but I’ve recently been having renewed faith on this whole relationship business. The Musician has turned out, against all the odds, to be rather fantastic. Yes, obviously I’m still having massive problems getting my head round this whole ‘one guy’ thing, and I still push him away when I’m confused or angry with some misdemeanour he’s unknowingly committed that can be as ridiculous as mentioning his ex- girlfriends name in my presence, or making me eat soup on a Friday night. I don’t know about you, but Friday certainly doesn’t go hand in hand with wholesome foods; it’s the partner of wine, vodka and dressy knickers.

The pointless emails have stopped coming, and so have the songs, so have the postcards with random gifts or objects I left at his house. I no longer feel sick when I’m about to see him, and I don’t shout out another man’s name when he’s trying to make love to me. He can spend hours ignoring me when I’m stuck at his house, and we’re still yet to actually go out on a date.

But. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who made me smile this much. We’re in the middle of a little row at the moment, because I was cold and distant on Sunday, fell asleep and went home. He was also working all day and had failed to pay me the attention I craved. This bit now, when the ardour is dying – is normally when I run.

I’m not going to run today, or tomorrow or the foreseeable future. For a few reasons; One, we have plane tickets booked for Italy in December and Ryanair is as tight as a nuns cunt when it comes to refunds. Two, I’m finding it almost impossible to believe other men are attractive – somewhere down the line (when I clearly wasn’t paying attention) he’s turned into some sort of Adonis sex god type creature. Others would disagree. Three, if I left he’d go out with someone else. This makes me feel physically ill. Four, I’d have to remove the relationship statue on my Facebook, and that’s just embarrassing.

Looks like I’m staying, then.